We've gathered the best advice from professionals all around the world for getting your family on board with your decorating style.
As design and decor lovers, we all want our homes to reach their absolute Pinterest-worthy potential!
But when designing a shared space, it can be difficult getting others to see your vision and have the same enthusiasm as you.
One of the most common arguments couples and families have are about design decisions in the home. It makes sense because the home environment is about personal taste, habits, and comfort, which each mean different things to everyone.
Experts like interior designers, real estate agents, professional organizers - and even relationship coaches - can speak to it because they've all seen it!
We pulled together these tips from experts because we truly believe that working through any obstacles to having your home feel its absolute best is 100% worth it.
Whether you're renovating your home, merging households, or simply redecorating - here are 99 tips to help you communicate with your family members and FINALLY get on the same page.
Be prepared and willing to compromise.
Don't go into a discussion thinking the only solution is to get your way. Chances are you will have to come to a conclusion that's for the good of both parties. This may mean you get your pink floral art in the dining room, and they get their signed jersey collection in the game room.
1. "Unless the compromise you agree to feels like a win/win, your relationship will end up not with a winner and loser but, ultimately, with two losers." - Leon F. Seltzer Ph.D.
2. "When it doubt, follow my rule of three’s: yours, mine, and ours. Perhaps you get to keep your velvet wingback chair that you love (mine), but you style it with his plaid blanket (yours) and a tan leather pouf (ours). This rule of thumb ensures that neither person’s style becomes overpowering, and your individual pieces complement each other to create a design that feels cohesive and reflective of both of you." - The Everygirl
3. "Balance juxtaposition. If you don’t know what that is, it just means two things being placed close together with contrasting effect. In decorating, feminine and masculine colors, furnishings, and accents." - Bless'er House
4. "Do your best to keep things fair and give everyone equal say. If kids are sharing a bedroom, play areas or study corners, go the extra mile to make sure everyone has ownership in the space. Perhaps give each child a special chair, new bedding or something else that makes it feel special to them." - Edina Realty
5. "As you have lived with [significant other] longer, you've learned how to incorporate his style and what he likes into your own so that pushes out the pink because that was the most girly and feminine aspect of it. You still have feminine aspects in different shapes in ginger jars, and chairs." - The Millennial Homemakers: Personal Style Revisited.
6. " Embrace eclecticism. This design style is your new best friend. Mixing metals, textures, patterns and styles helps create a lived-in, unique look. So what if you love brass and copper accents while your partner prefers dark woods and leather? All of those elements can work together." - Molly Miller
7. "Every partnership has its share of give and take, and the decorating relationship is no different. If you want to create a setting that feels like home for both you and your spouse, you need to make compromises. If your husband acquiesces to displaying your vintage book collection in the bedroom, don't deny him the opportunity to show off his prized sports memorabilia on a shelf in the den." - Log Home Living
8. "You may have different styles, one is traditional and the other is modern. These can work together. If you have distinctly different styles, one way to make them look cohesive is to agree on a home color palette." - Design Morsels
9. "Your best shot at a compromise [when it comes to house hunting] is to find out what you and your spouse have in common." - DaveRamsey.com
10. "You both get to pick 3 items that really matter to you and it's a compromise. At first when you're merging, you don't want to give into everything and feel like a guest. It's a matter of softening and making compromise. Looking at the object and saying I know someone gave you that, but is it worth keeping around? If it doesn't add value to your space maybe wrap it up and store it." - Kate Martindale on Decorating: Learn to Love Your Space and Let Go of Your Junk
11. "We’ve all been in homes that got overwhelmed by people’s quirky collections: painted lead soldiers from the Napoleonic wars, carved owls or vinyl records no one plays any more. How do I prevent that from happening at my house? Take something that could be a décor problem and turn it into a feature. Make the other elements of a room complement the musical instruments." - Michelle Slatalla
12. "Pick neutral palettes. Rather than force your passion for leopard-print tapestries on everyone you live with, stick to large features that are more neutral, such as sheer or pastel curtains and un-patterned rugs. You and your roommates can work together to add details that bring personality to the space without going in any one design direction, and everyone will feel like they have some say in the space, removing any tension caused by one roommate holding all the design control." - Lauren Phillips
13."I still have a giant velvet Elvis hanging in my garage and it's called compromise. It's technically in our home! As much as I want to live in a pink cupcake, I love William and want to live with William more." - Lauren Conrad on Decorating: Learn to Love Your Space and Let Go of Your Junk.
14. "One thing I've encouraged my clients with is by saying to them: 'Even if your husband isn't on board right now, once they see your stress level go down, once they see the actual physical results of the work we're doing, they're gonna jump on board.' Because I've had a ton of hesitant spouses who later saw the value [in decluttering and organizing the house]. So I have to encourage her not to let his negative feelings dissuade her from doing the work [within her control] that she knows is right." - Heather Freeman on The Pro Organizer Studio Podcast
Use Emotion to Explain Why It's Important to You.
Your significant other may truly not know why you care so much about keeping an old table you've had for years in your entryway. Maybe it was built by your grandfather and it's an heirloom piece you hope to pass down to your children. If you haven't come out and directly told them, don't assume they should know!
15. "According to science, one way to motivate people to do something is the power of the story. 'What' is not a story, it’s a command. But, if you start with 'why' you tell the background, you make the people understand more. People are far more likely to accept a change if we understand the reason for it." - Andrew Prasatya
16. "Combining decorating styles may seem challenging at first, but know that if you research it and avoid impulse purchases, the entire family will be happy with the rooms for years. If the husband and wife make a list of what’s important to them, and look through photos to communicate preferences that are important to them, the process will run smoother." - Interior Design Greensboro
17. "Try having this conversation more than once and in multiple ways. For example, if you first bring this up in person and you find that your partner has very little to say in response, try revisiting the topic over text after a few days." - Anita Chlipala, LMFT
18. "In the heat of the moment, as you work toward a compromise, it may seem like you are being personally attacked when your partner rejects an item that holds great significance for you. This is where communication becomes key. Talk to each other. Share about the item’s history. Make sure your partner understands why a certain lamp, vase, or decorative piece means so much to you." - Kallie Koumalats
19. "I've always felt that the spaces we design will all have an emotional impact on a home. Everything from the paint colors we chose to the furniture layout to the china pattern can (and will) have a dramatic emotional effect on the homeowners. So sometimes it's better to talk about the emotional impact of your design directions, even more than the design itself." - Scot Meacham Wood
20. "If you want your partner to hear you, keep them from running to the defensive side by keeping the topic focused on your own emotions." - Marlen Komar
21. "After you've expressed your desires and offered an explanation of why something is important to you, give your spouse a chance to respond. Allow them to speak and don't interrupt. Pay attention to what they're saying and try not to dismiss their thoughts immediately." - Francesca Di Meglio
22. "The more you can communicate your enthusiasm to others, the more likely they are to feel that way too. One way to do this is give examples that demonstrate how the subject is relevant to their lives can bring it to life for them. Figuring out how to best explain your subject may take trial and error, so don’t get discouraged about sharing what you know." - Jake Amorelli
23. "Note that in many situations, if your goal is to convince the audience to support your stance, you will need to have an emotional component as part of your argument when countering an appeal to emotion, since this is often the primary factor that people will respond to." - Effectiviology
24. "She showed me that rugs on the floor and art on the walls could be more than just stuff. It spoke to our interests, our personalities, and the way we lived. These changes inspired us to enjoy our time at home instead of avoiding it." - Syd McGee in Make Life Beautiful
25. "Whether you're talking or listening, you need to be clear about why something's being said. Motive and message are important." - Dr. Phil McGraw
26. "Here’s the thing—I can be really in-tune with my feelings without letting my husband know a single one of them. If I don’t speak up, he’s in the dark. And I can tell you from experience, that’s not fun for anybody." - Her View from Home
27. "If decorating is something you truly love, just say so, girlfriend! Most men don't have a passion for home decor. But they DO have a passion for you and your heart. If you dream of having a blush couch or want to hang a Prada canvas in your living room, just explain. Tell him how decorating feels like an outlet for you." - Chronicles of Frivolity
Include them in the process.
Regardless if we're talking kids or adults, everyone likes to feel included! When designing a shared space, you should ask others about their opinion or to be a part of the process. You might be genuinely surprised at how much fun you and your family have decorating together!
28. "After sharing your observations and feelings about the situation, genuinely ask the other person to express her story or views of the situation. It’s important to stay curious and want to learn your partner’s point of view rather than be right or win an argument." - Engaged Marriage
29. "While it is of course important to consult your spouse on the big decor decisions, you might be better off not asking for an opinion on the minor ones–unless you are ready to handle a contrary one!" - Home Stories A to Z
30. "If you seek to make change happen, acknowledge it and add 'if that's okay'." - Seth Godin on Design Better Podcast
31. "Make it a joint process and a work in progress. When the wire sculpture from Anthropologie that spelled out the word 'goodnight' in script didn’t show on the accent wall, my husband suggested spray-painting it gold. Suddenly, this bedroom makeover wasn’t just a gift to me, it was a project we were taking on together." - Ronnie Koenig
32. "If either of you takes on a dominating role and expect to make all the major decisions in your marriage, your marriage will certainly suffer. Furthermore, egalitarian marriages, where both spouses feel equal, are the happiest. You will want to aim for a marriage that has mutuality, negotiation, open sharing of thoughts and opinions, and respect for each other's point of view." - Sheri Stritof
33. "You want them to express their ideas, but you don't want to shoot their ideas down right away because that will make them want it more. Let them express their creativity, and give them some headway.” - Kelsea Gurski
34. "Narrow down the options to present to the kids. This keeps the control in the hands of a responsible adult who is paying for the design update while also giving the kids a say in what the final decisions are. Present the kids with at least three options for the items that you’re trying to make a decision on. Beware that everyone still may not agree so compromise will likely be necessary, but let each child give his or her opinion on why a particular selection is the best choice for the room." - Sarah Fernandez
35. "Offer to help him display his hobby. Help him come up with a way to store and display all the gear in an organized (and much more aesthetically pleasing) manner." - Todd Gummerman
36. "Once two people enter into a relationship, the number of decisions they should make on their own decreases significantly because their respective decision circles overlap. This is not necessarily because all of these decisions must be made together, but rather because nearly every decision you make individually in a relationship has an impact on the other person. In order to maintain a healthy relationship, each partner must at least consider their spouse when making decisions. Whether you are actively making decisions together or considering one another in your individual decisions, there are relatively few that you should make completely on your own." - David Hilton of LIFE Marriage Retreats
37. "Tell him why your latest decorating idea will improve his life (softer pillows for enjoying the game, a place to put his feet up, etc) and lay your heart on the table (showing him that his support and/or participation is important to you can help him feel valued)." - Young House Love
38. "Give the man veto power and let the women decorate. The man needs to be able to keep the house from becoming too girly, but men do not need to 'win' very many decoration battles to be happy in the home. Happy wife, happy life. Believe it!" - Chris Pinney
39. "Watching him care about the minutiae of the space we're building together has been a sweet reminder of why I love him. And as incredible as that's been, it's simultaneously forced me to reckon with my tendency to sometimes be a total know-it-all and an even bigger control freak." - Nathalie Kirby
40. "What matters is that you don't want it. Your home has to be reflective of what you both like. Perhaps go shopping with him or ask him to check sites to have him point out what he likes so that you can pick things that you both like in common and work from there" - Houzz.com
41. "He bought our place long before I was in the picture, so it was decorated all by him. He let me put up pretty much whatever I wanted, and he said I could take his stuff down. I did take some stuff down, but I don’t want to get rid of all of 'him' in the house, so even though I don’t love it all it’s going to stay." - Wedding Bee
42. "Men aren't as concerned about the minutia of nesting, they just want a comfy place to come home and settle into at the end of the day. They are more concerned about something being well-built, comfortable, and familiar." - The Decorologist
43. "Be really clear about what you're doing. Whether your partner in living wants to be your partner in design or not, still keep the lines of communication wide open and be upfront with all your plans, both visually and financially. It’ll help curb future clashes by not surprising your roommate or mate with something (even if they swore they didn’t want to involved in the first place)." - Adrienne Breaux
44. "When you're going to do a remodel and you've never done one before, that's a really really crazy complicated anxiety inducing problem. You don't know how much it's going to cost, how long it's going to take, etc. It's natural to want to try to get to answers very quickly. Double diamond philosophy would say set all those questions aside because you're going to get to them. First enjoy the journey of thinking about what it could be. Start looking around the house, start working with designer. We spent a huge amount of time enjoying the expansiveness of what remodeling a house could be. Then we got to a point where we had enough interesting ideas [so we started] prioritizing and then putting them into a design set. Allow yourself to not have all the answers. Do a lot of stuff and see the interconnectedness of pieces and... you finally come to a point where enough of it comes together that you have a good picture and you can actually get very tactical on how you get stuff done." - Niel Robertson on The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast
45. "Kids’ ideas are not always doable (or practical). Toning it down a bit honors the creativity of their vision, empowering them, without sacrificing your sanity." - Chiara de Rege
46. "NEVER ask your child, 'Do you still like this?' They will suddenly unearth a gravitational pull toward a stuffed animal they have probably never noticed before. Go with your gut and common sense, and purge the items you know they don't use." - The Home Edit
47. "Being able to let children choose how they want to decorate their own bedroom may seem trivial, but it can allow them to develop their own personal style and feel like they have a space to express themselves. It gives them control over their own space and gives them a higher sense of self-esteem, which is very valuable in their formative years." - Room to Grow
48. "There's been times where Nikki would change the lamps and I don't even notice like I'm not even aware of what's going on. I think she changed the comforter a little while ago... I didn't notice I was just wondering where my Cheetos stains were at. That's how I noticed things changed." - Jorge from Inspired by Nikki
49. "Let kids be a part of the process. When planning a kids' space, narrow down the choices to a few options that you genuinely like and think your kids will love. Do the editing first and then involve them in the final choices to help guide the process and keep the overall look cohesive." - Joanna Gaines in Homebody
50. "Of course, sometimes two design styles will remain two separate styles, no matter how much collaborating and working together you do. Instead of pushing back, embrace it. If his and hers stuff works best then that’s clearly your style! Basing your design around larger pieces in a neutral color you both agree on also makes this a bit easier to let your styles shine, but in a way that can feel like home for both of you. Looking for opportunities, both big and small, to collaborate and bond through this process can make it more fun and less stressful." - Clayton Homes
51. "One way to learn everyone’s personal tastes is to browse ideas as a family. Try calling a family meeting to talk about different decor styles and resources. Make sure that everyone feels like they have a role in deciding the home decor. In this first step, listening to everyone’s opinion is crucial, even those of your little ones. Children actually develop their personality from a very early age and a great way to help them express it is through decor." - Decor Tips
Use the right words at the right time.
Proper communication plays a huge factor when it comes having an efficient conversation. Choose your words wisely and be clear about your intentions. Choose a time where you're both relaxed and can focus on the conversation. We promise it can make all the difference!
52. "Don't say 'can we talk?' or 'we have to talk'. Start your conversation with a statement that acknowledges that the topic is difficult, sensitive, confrontational, or touchy. Clarify that you know that you have different perspectives and that you want to work together to have a better understanding of those perspectives." - Sheri Stritof
53. "Acknowledging the issue in the form of a question is a good way to show that you’re not okay, but you’re also not throwing blame. Do you see the difference? If their response doesn’t show any concern, make sure they know that you wouldn’t have brought it up if it wasn’t important to you." - Olivia Lucero
54. "You don't have to persuade, manipulate, argue, nag, or coerce him into doing something to make you happy, because he already wants to be your hero. He just needs to know what you want. The way to express your desires is to simply say 'I want...' or 'I would love...' and fill in whatever appeals to you in the moment." - Laura Doyle in First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors
55. "Often things are hinted at and not really explicitly communicated." - What Would My Shrink Say?
56. "Choose an appropriate time and place to present your idea in a new and more effective way. Make sure you ask your partner when a good time is for him/her to start. Also, make sure to tell your partner that you want him/her to be the initiator at a later time, and that you are willing to actively listen to what your partner has to say." - Irene Hansen Savarese, LMFT
57. "Rather than announcing your grand plans, start by questioning. 'How do you feel about our living room? What would you think about….? What would you change in this room if we could?' These are much better ways to ease into a conversation and get an understanding of where your spouse is coming from." - Decor Fix
58. "Before trying to have a talk with your husband, pick a time when he's most relaxed—not when he's walking in the door from work. Men are activity-oriented, so try taking a walk while you talk, or take a long drive...just the two of you, to get his full attention." - Roland Warren
59. "Soften your start-up! Men tend to experience flooding much more easily because their bodies are more reactive to emotional stress than their wives'. So they are more inclined to avoid confrontation. The most important quality of an exchange is the virtual absence of the four horsemen. There is no criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or stonewalling." - John M. Gottman in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
60. "I usually just reframe it as a choice.”- Apartment Therapy
61. "The idea is to get your needs across. When expressing your needs, we are always referring to needs that take your partner's well-being into consideration as well. If they end up hurting him or her, you're sure to get hurt too; after all, you and your partner are an emotional unit. When expressing your needs, it's helpful to use verbs such as need, feel, and want, which focus on what you are trying to accomplish and not on your partner's shortcomings." - Attached
62. "Why are you in a hurry? Picking the right time is one important aspects to be successful. Don't talk to him when things are heated up or when he's exhausted after work. Choose one of those easy times on the weekend where he usually chill." - Love Devani
63. "In his Four-Sides model of communication, Friedemann Schulz von Thun points out that every message has four facets to it:
- Fact: What I inform about (data, facts, statements)
- Self-revealing: What I reveal about myself (information about the sender)
- Relationship: What I think about you (information about how we get along);
- Appeal: What I want to make you do (an attempt to influence the receiver)
There is never the same emphasis put on each of the four facets, and the emphasis can be meant and understood differently. For instance, a wife saying “the sugar jar is empty” may be less about the fact that there is no sugar left in the jar and more a prompt for her husband to go and fill the jar." - Birgit Ohlin, MA, BBA
64. "Being considerate to your partner almost always involves trying to appreciate his or her perspective. Your husband may want to talk about the kids, and you may be too exhausted. You may want to vent about your day, but he may be too distracted. You may have tense disagreements about money. Recognizing the validity of his point of view, even if you disagree, helps give you more patience. It makes you less likely to say 'Could you just stop talking?' and more able to say 'Could we talk about your day after I’ve had a moment to rest?' - Daphne de Marneffe, Ph.
65. "Why soften the message? Because we're trying to add meaning to the pool, not force it down other people's throats. If we're too forceful, the information won't make it to the pool. One of the ironies of dialogue is that, when talking with those holding opposing opinons, the more convinced and forceful you act, the more resistant they become." -Crucial Conversations
66. "O as the customer's Objection, P as your Proposal, T the Truth
And this creates a paradox at the level of the customer's mindset: O is what I think T is. P is what the sales advisor wants me to believe.
If P is too different from O, it means P is not T.
In fact, the truth is somehow unknown (...and that's why I'm asking).
The key and most important findings is that the customer only has to resolve the equation of what T is -- the truth. And most likely the truth is T= O+P.
The only correct approach is to politely put forward the proposal to counterbalance O and create a truth seeking dynamic. There are various ways in which we can deliver the proposal.
But, remember, the most important aspect is to counterbalance the O. You don't need to prove that P=T. " - Francis Srun in Luxury Selling
67. "You have to prepare people for change. It helps when they know it is coming." - School of Decorating
68. "It's important to understand not just your triggers, but your family's too. I know, for instance that I don't have much emotional clutter, but my youngest daughter does. She struggles with forming attachments to things. As a result, I need to tailor my approach with her differently than with my older daughter, whose room is usually a mess because taking time to organize things is not a priority to her. Once I recognized what motivates them, I was able to adjust my approach and get them to do what I asked." - Laurie Palau in Hot Mess
69. "When we believe people truly are acting in our best interest, we tend to trust them. When we believe that they are not acting in our best interest, we do not trust them. It's that simple." - Stephen M.R. Covey in The Speed of Trust
If it means making a collage from your favorite magazines or using a tool like Canva Pro, come ready with a mood board. It's the best tool to convey your message and get others to understand your train of thought. You could even try creating one together!
70. "Visuals help learners grasp concepts easily by stimulating imagination and affecting their cognitive capabilities. Besides, the visual language is also known to have the potential to stretch ‘human bandwidth’ – which comprises absorbing, comprehending and analyzing new information." - Dana Jandhyala
71. "Visual communication is the most effective way of passing information because the human mind processes things in images. The majority of people respond quickly to visual images instead of texts." - EZ Talks
72. "Choosing a general style we both love, and creating a mood board is the single best thing we have done to simplify our process and nurture a shared vision." - A Beautiful Mess
73. "A mood board (despite its name) usually depicts how you want something to LOOK rather than how you want it to FEEL. Our vision boards do both. They capture how you want your reno to look (the aesthetics) and, more importantly, how you want to live and feel in the finished space (the vibe). Quite simply, they’re a visual summary of your goals." - Three Birds Renovation
74. "Getting the client involved early on in the process before design elements have been set in stone helps the project move forward more smoothly. Mood boards help prevent surprises from the client side—they are fully aware of our design decisions before they see the final product." - Tyler Zenk
75. "Having a photo can really clear up any discrepancies you might have. Photos paint a picture much better than words and he can see where you are going. That way you both are communicating about the same thing and can better work together." - At Home with Ashley
76. "Clients will bring photos they’ve ripped from magazines or show pages from design books to help explain what appeals to them. A couple can sit down together and have this sort of meeting even if they aren’t working with a designer. By showing your partner what you envision, you may find that you have more common ground than you realized." - Melissa Rayworth
77. "Numerous studies have proven that images are a powerful way to tell a persuasive story and improve learning. The human brain can comprehend visual content much faster than text-based content. Photos, icons, charts, graphs and diagrams help learners understand complex concepts and increase retention. Vivid imagery also catches the attention of lackadaisical learners and inspires them to dig deeper." - Jana Brunken
78. "Mood boards can serve many purposes, starting with organizing the inspiration around a project. They can be a valuable resource throughout the design project, to help keep the style and aesthetic consistent and on track with a client’s goals and expectations. Mood boards are also an excellent way to refine a project’s style before diving into the actual design process." - Cameron Chapman
79. "Being faced with too many options makes it harder to make a decision. Three selections tend to be the magic number. If none of those work, then pull another three for consideration." - Erika Ward Interiors
80. "Mood boards are the perfect jumping off point for any design project. Creating mood boards allows you to collect thoughts, ideas, color schemes and moods in one place and define a coherent design concept without risk of losing sight of the bigger picture. Visual concepts are a constant source of inspiration, the huge motivators that make you feel empowered. And after all, creating mood boards is like playing! Coming up with a well-designed mood board might seem intimidating to some, but to a design creative, it is like putting together pieces of a puzzle. Easy, exciting and so much fun!" - Bojana Bajac
81. "Every designer can attest to the client that just can’t picture what you describe to them when brainstorming, getting deep into the initial designs, and having the client be surprised by the direction of your designs. Creating mood boards up front before getting into designing anything can help prevent this from happening again. The client can see your direction, you can get the clients feedback and input in to what direction they might be thinking, and everyone becomes a little less moody." - 522 Productions
Make sure there's no underlying problem.
Maybe you're really passionate about a blue star wallpaper and your husband just doesn't seem to understand which upsets you. Did you ever think it could be because you're comparing him to others and expect him to say yes to everything? Or maybe he doesn't really care about what wallpaper you choose and it's more about finances. Before you let your decorating frustrations get to you, be sure it's not masking another issue.
82. "If you find yourselves arguing, make sure the problem really is about that floral armchair and not at heart about a deeper issue, like whether someone feels disrespected or not valued." - Marilyn Lewis
83. "You cannot get other people to see your side or change their mind if they don't want to and if they're not receptive." - Lisa Woodruff on Organizing 365
84. "In a survey done by the major decorating website, Houzz.com, a whopping 46% of couples reported feeling stressed when decorating with their spouse…that’s nearly 1 in 2 couples! And a surprising 12% reported reaching such deep frustration levels that divorce actually crossed their minds! The problem actually makes sense.
Consider decorating as a situational mirror of any major issues you face as a couple.
*Spending money – design is not an inexpensive pursuit *Relinquishing or at least sharing control – design requires it *Compromising – design requires it." - Interiors by Donna Hoffman
85. "At a deeper level our willingness to come together to agree on important issues stems from our expectations for relating in general. If we approach friendships or marriage with a contract mentality, we’re bound to crave space and freedom. But if we see our relationships as covenants, we may be more willing to make decisions together." - Dr. Bill Strom
86. "In our culture and in our society, men are taught to be quiet and say nothing and hope that they can read their partner's mind. Woman are often taught just complain. It's in every TV show you see, the mom is nagging the husband. Can we do it differently? Take out blame and shame." - Melaine Studley on Anatomy of Marriage
87. "Be kind to the other person by looking at the tussle from their perspective, but don't ever be afraid to put your foot down if they refuse to extend the same kindness to you." - Cosell Turner
88. "Whether it's having her decorating ideas dismissed or hearing the dreaded 'not tonight,' no wife likes being turned down. While occasional rejections are understandable, habitual negative responses are another story—and not one that often ends well. Constantly hearing 'no' can wear them down and cause resentment that pushes them away from you." - Sheri Stritof
89. "Decorating a home can be an emotional experience. You're making choices that will have a lasting impact on your surroundings. These choices often involve finances, which can be one of the most charged subjects within a relationship." - Sassy Townhouse Living
90. "[A new habit that has most improved my life is] learning and using a relationship tool called the Imago Dialogue, created by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt. It's a structured way to talk with your spouse or significant other, especially when you're fighting. At first, it all feels hokey and totally unnatural. But when you learn how it works and use it earnestly, it's nothing short of miraculous for your intimate relationships."- Marie Forleo in Tribe of Mentors
91. "The problem is that when something bothers us we get quickly irritated, angry or frustrated. Then we let emotions speak for us, and claiming our rights, we end up attacking the others. Instead of self-affirming ourselves we end up attacking, and that’s not the goal." - Jennifer Delgado, Psychologist
92. "Even if it is clearly wrong and not going to happen, be respectful of the ideas brought to the table. Sometimes things need to be explained and understood in steps as opposed to laughing in someone’s face." - The DIY Playbook
93. "Psychologists have long recognized that we tend to see our own shortcomings through the lens of the situation—I was impatient, because I didn't get enough sleep last night—while we blame others' shortcomings on their character—they're an impatient person." - Seth J. Gillihan Ph.D.
94. "Keep in mind, though, that if an ugly (to you) couch or R.E.M. poster is driving a wedge in your relationship, it may be indicative of more severe underlying problems. These feelings can manifest through arguments over which wallpaper to put in the dining room or whether to throw out an ottoman." - Jessica Reynolds
95. "Regardless of the goal you are striving to accomplish, you will be required to think differently, embrace a die-hard level of commitment, and take massive amounts of action at 10 times the levels you think are necessary - followed by more actions. Almost every problem people face in their careers and other aspects of their lives as all the result of not taking enough action." - Grant Cardone in The 10X Rule
96. "Like many wives, you have been fooled into thinking that one day your complaints would finally re-mold your husband into the perfect mate. Unconditional love and tenderness, not complaints, can transform a cranky opponent into a humble, loving partner." - Marriage Missions
97. "One of the biggest points of contention when couples decorate together isn’t a matter of style, but one of finances. Resentments can easily build if one person feels the other’s spending is out of control (or the opposite — that their partner is being cheap or restrictive). Before you set foot into a furniture store or interior designer’s office, decide on a budget that you each feel comfortable with." - Armina Kasprowicz
98. "Looking back, I think part of my frustration during that decorating dilemma was actually the result of me watching too much HGTV. I love to watch this channel. Seeing husband-and-wife power duos that fix up this and flip that has always entertained me. The trouble is, all these dynamic duos make me feel like my husband and I are doing it all wrong. We don’t work like that." - Allison Carter
99. "You must begin to appreciate—truly appreciate—that their behavior or perspective is, from their point of view, just as valid as your own. Their priorities or values may differ from yours, but that doesn’t make them bad or wrong. You need to see your partner as not intentionally (or malignantly) trying to make you miserable. They're simply doing pretty much what they’ve always done—they have likely been behaving this way before you even met them. Remember that their wants and needs are just as important to them as yours are to you." - Leon F Seltzer Ph.D.